Today is one of those days that I really just need to find a release, and this seems to be the best outlet. As I lay in my bed crying countless tears, I can't help but wonder if I made the right decision. Essentially I've just had to let go of someone who meant the world to me, and who was, esentially my world. As we said goodbye last night, I felt like a part of my heart was ripped from my chest at the exact same moment that someone repeatedly punched me in the gut.
I just keep replaying the scene over and over in my head and it makes me cry harder each time. It was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make, but I also know that it was the best decision for the both of us. He's lost his soul and his happiness, and I can not guide him. He needs to find solace within himself before he's capable of being the same man that I fell in love with.
It's been almost 24 hours since he left, and I think now reality is finally setting in. He's gone, and I don't really know if I will ever see him again. That in itself, is a very tough pill to swallow. He was (and still is) the only man who has ever loved me unconditionally. He accepted everything about me, all my quirks and goofyness, and even adored me when my allergies made me sound like Millhouse. I truly thought I had found the one. He was the one that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with, God had put him into my life for just that reason.
And now, he's gone. And I'm empty inside. Why does this have to hurt so bad?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Friday, August 14, 2009
Obviously They're Doing Something Incorrectly
Coming to you straight from the depths of Cowboy Curtis' infinite time to find crazy news articles for me to rant about, here's a quickie. Again, yes, pun intended.
Doing Something Wrong
When I first read this article I thought that I had read something incorrectly, so I moved my eyes back to the top of the page and parused the verbiage once again. To my dismay, I had indeed read the article correctly, 88% of people in Amsterdam found a trip to the potty more pleasurable then having sex ??!! Let me state that once again, the restroom over sex?? Holy hell, someone needs to declare a state (or country for that matter) of emergency in Amsterdam. And for the record, I am by no means a sex addict or anything of that magnitude, but never ever would I fathom saying that I enjoyed relieving my bowel and kidneys over having an orgasm. I go to the restroom b/c it's a part of life, a necessity if you will.
I'm quite curious to know where did they chose the demographics for this survey? Perhaps from the patient files of a gastroentonologists office? Or maybe the first 1,000 people to purchase a box of Immodium AD at their local CVS? These statistics just don't make sense to me, and for that matter, probably never will.
Love your life, and for the sake of one's well being..love sex too!
Mel
When I first read this article I thought that I had read something incorrectly, so I moved my eyes back to the top of the page and parused the verbiage once again. To my dismay, I had indeed read the article correctly, 88% of people in Amsterdam found a trip to the potty more pleasurable then having sex ??!! Let me state that once again, the restroom over sex?? Holy hell, someone needs to declare a state (or country for that matter) of emergency in Amsterdam. And for the record, I am by no means a sex addict or anything of that magnitude, but never ever would I fathom saying that I enjoyed relieving my bowel and kidneys over having an orgasm. I go to the restroom b/c it's a part of life, a necessity if you will.
I'm quite curious to know where did they chose the demographics for this survey? Perhaps from the patient files of a gastroentonologists office? Or maybe the first 1,000 people to purchase a box of Immodium AD at their local CVS? These statistics just don't make sense to me, and for that matter, probably never will.
Love your life, and for the sake of one's well being..love sex too!
Mel
I Don't Know What's Worse...
It's been a while since I've blogged, and my last posting was anything but chipper, so I feel like it's time to redeem myself. Afterall, I've gotten stuck on the help desk with late shift 4 nights this week, might as well kill the last hour of my incredibly long work week by blogging about uselessness.
So, here it is kids, take a deep breath and digest my find. I came across this jewel on my friend Nate's facebook page, and so I stole the photo and got a burst of energy to "pound" on the keyboard. No pun intened. Pfftthh, who am I kidding, of course that jab was filled 'to the brim' with pun :)
Now, there are two very disturbing things to this girl's facebook posting. The first being blatently obvious, and that is the apparent fact that she is a complete moron for not realizing she was typing back/forth with her friends about her lady parts being "split" (as she so eloquently described it.) The second is something that only came to me when I read over it a second time (obviously still in disbelief.) If you look closely, (in the second blurb down) the last phrase says "i figured gma would have told you by now."
Now, where I come from gma translates to none other than every family's favorite female senior citizen--aka Grandma. And well that's just freakin' weird! Perhaps gma stands for someone's initials, but it seems that 'K' doesn't give much thought to being coy, so I have to lean towards the obvious translation. I can openly admit that I am not super tight with my grandma, and even if we were BFF's, there is no freakin' way in hell I would tell my grandma about my riding my boyfriend so roughly to the point that, yes...I tore my vagine. Who does that? I mean honestly, I may use that phrase like I use brownies to fight off PMS (which is often incase you didn't know it.) but seriously folks WTF!!??
Now, no good blog from Mel would be complete without a little addition from the mind of Cowboy Curtis...
1) People are idiots.
2) Who would share that kind of info, especially in writing (of any sort)?
3) Split from falling off? Onto what, a fencepost?
Ack, just looked at the clock, only 5:24, which means I have 36 minutes to go, although the phone has not ran once in the last hour. Maybe I need to find something else to blog about...stay tuned.
Love your life and your "broken" lady parts-
Mel
So, here it is kids, take a deep breath and digest my find. I came across this jewel on my friend Nate's facebook page, and so I stole the photo and got a burst of energy to "pound" on the keyboard. No pun intened. Pfftthh, who am I kidding, of course that jab was filled 'to the brim' with pun :)
Now, there are two very disturbing things to this girl's facebook posting. The first being blatently obvious, and that is the apparent fact that she is a complete moron for not realizing she was typing back/forth with her friends about her lady parts being "split" (as she so eloquently described it.) The second is something that only came to me when I read over it a second time (obviously still in disbelief.) If you look closely, (in the second blurb down) the last phrase says "i figured gma would have told you by now."
Now, where I come from gma translates to none other than every family's favorite female senior citizen--aka Grandma. And well that's just freakin' weird! Perhaps gma stands for someone's initials, but it seems that 'K' doesn't give much thought to being coy, so I have to lean towards the obvious translation. I can openly admit that I am not super tight with my grandma, and even if we were BFF's, there is no freakin' way in hell I would tell my grandma about my riding my boyfriend so roughly to the point that, yes...I tore my vagine. Who does that? I mean honestly, I may use that phrase like I use brownies to fight off PMS (which is often incase you didn't know it.) but seriously folks WTF!!??
Now, no good blog from Mel would be complete without a little addition from the mind of Cowboy Curtis...
1) People are idiots.
2) Who would share that kind of info, especially in writing (of any sort)?
3) Split from falling off? Onto what, a fencepost?
Ack, just looked at the clock, only 5:24, which means I have 36 minutes to go, although the phone has not ran once in the last hour. Maybe I need to find something else to blog about...stay tuned.
Love your life and your "broken" lady parts-
Mel
Thursday, May 14, 2009
For 30 Years...
My usual repertoire on my blog consist of idiocies that grace the world wide web, but today's message is heartfelt from the world of Mel as I attempt to dissect my relationship with my father.
For 30 years I have wanted someone to call Dad.
And not just in a parental way, but in a respective, role model, family-oriented way.
But I've given up on this hope.
For 30 years I have watched you clutch your belongings.
Attacking anyone who touched, disturbed or misplaced any of your monetary possessions.
Such an ugly trait to possess.
For 30 years I have sat back and watched your lack of affection for both of your children.
But not in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense as well.
And this can't be undone.
For 30 years I have watched yout love for alcohol remain the same.
While your love for your family dwindle.
In the end, you've chosen alcohol.
For 30 years I've watched you degrade every member of our family on countless occasions.
Regarding matters that just aren't important in the big picture of life.
This is inexcusable. And unforgettable.
For 30 years I have watched you try to buy the love of everyone that surrounds you.
And I've come to learn that new cars and fancy toys both lose luster.
Then what are you left with?
For 30 years I have witnessed the most unhealthy marriage between a man and woman.
Marriage is about loving unconditionally and learning to deal with anything that life may throw your way.
Without 'losing your cool.' Period.
For 30 years I can recall too many occassions where I was embarassed by your overbearing displays of anger and rage.
Even though you may not have raised your hand to me.
The emotional scars are just as painful.
For 30 years I have only wanted a father figure.
To support me, to praise me, to be a part of my life, to love me unconditionally and to forgive and forget.
Half-assed attempts on rare occassions don't count.
For 30 years I have watched you destroy a family.
With your undeniable urge for the bottle, your level of hatred for too many things and your inability to roll with the punches.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
For 30 years I have allowed you to break down my inner being.
Sometimes ripping it to shreds, while I took every lash and never faught back.
Enabling you to continue your horrific behaviors.
30 years of hurt.
30 years of nothingness.
30 years of dissapointment.
30 years of belittlement.
30 years too long!
For 30 years I have wanted someone to call Dad.
And not just in a parental way, but in a respective, role model, family-oriented way.
But I've given up on this hope.
For 30 years I have watched you clutch your belongings.
Attacking anyone who touched, disturbed or misplaced any of your monetary possessions.
Such an ugly trait to possess.
For 30 years I have sat back and watched your lack of affection for both of your children.
But not in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense as well.
And this can't be undone.
For 30 years I have watched yout love for alcohol remain the same.
While your love for your family dwindle.
In the end, you've chosen alcohol.
For 30 years I've watched you degrade every member of our family on countless occasions.
Regarding matters that just aren't important in the big picture of life.
This is inexcusable. And unforgettable.
For 30 years I have watched you try to buy the love of everyone that surrounds you.
And I've come to learn that new cars and fancy toys both lose luster.
Then what are you left with?
For 30 years I have witnessed the most unhealthy marriage between a man and woman.
Marriage is about loving unconditionally and learning to deal with anything that life may throw your way.
Without 'losing your cool.' Period.
For 30 years I can recall too many occassions where I was embarassed by your overbearing displays of anger and rage.
Even though you may not have raised your hand to me.
The emotional scars are just as painful.
For 30 years I have only wanted a father figure.
To support me, to praise me, to be a part of my life, to love me unconditionally and to forgive and forget.
Half-assed attempts on rare occassions don't count.
For 30 years I have watched you destroy a family.
With your undeniable urge for the bottle, your level of hatred for too many things and your inability to roll with the punches.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
For 30 years I have allowed you to break down my inner being.
Sometimes ripping it to shreds, while I took every lash and never faught back.
Enabling you to continue your horrific behaviors.
30 years of hurt.
30 years of nothingness.
30 years of dissapointment.
30 years of belittlement.
30 years too long!
Monday, May 11, 2009
And Yet, He Continued to Work There
First, the link:
Man Chomps Off His Finger Over Unpaid Wages
So, let me try and understand this; you work for said company and on a regular Friday afternoon you get wind that the companies bank account resembles that of Enron's, and rumor has it, you aren't going to get paid. Alas, you're a hard worker, and so, you decide to stick it out for a few more weeks hoping that the execs will shift around some funds and come thru for you. But, unfortunately that doesn't pan out so well either. In the end, the normal worksman would look for other means of making a living. That is unless you are this guy, cause if your name is Zoran Bulatovic (side note, who the 'F' bestows the name Zoran upon their child anyways??) Anyways, if you'r name is Zoran, you stick it out for years "only collecting social benefits such as free medical care." And at some point in time Zoran gets fed up (no pun intended) and decides to use a hacksaw to cut off most of his little finger and threatens to eat it if they don't begin to give him all of his back wages. In the end you are a) missing a finger; b)successfully made yourself look like a fool by committing such an act of protest, and c) to top it all off, you're now you're a less desired employee because you are a missing said digit on your left hand. Pure genius I tell you. Perhaps next time Zoran should post his resume on Monster.com and quit shortly after they inform him that they can no longer pay him. Just a thought....?
Love your life, and all 10 of your fingers, (but not enough to eat them.)
Mel
So, let me try and understand this; you work for said company and on a regular Friday afternoon you get wind that the companies bank account resembles that of Enron's, and rumor has it, you aren't going to get paid. Alas, you're a hard worker, and so, you decide to stick it out for a few more weeks hoping that the execs will shift around some funds and come thru for you. But, unfortunately that doesn't pan out so well either. In the end, the normal worksman would look for other means of making a living. That is unless you are this guy, cause if your name is Zoran Bulatovic (side note, who the 'F' bestows the name Zoran upon their child anyways??) Anyways, if you'r name is Zoran, you stick it out for years "only collecting social benefits such as free medical care." And at some point in time Zoran gets fed up (no pun intended) and decides to use a hacksaw to cut off most of his little finger and threatens to eat it if they don't begin to give him all of his back wages. In the end you are a) missing a finger; b)successfully made yourself look like a fool by committing such an act of protest, and c) to top it all off, you're now you're a less desired employee because you are a missing said digit on your left hand. Pure genius I tell you. Perhaps next time Zoran should post his resume on Monster.com and quit shortly after they inform him that they can no longer pay him. Just a thought....?
Love your life, and all 10 of your fingers, (but not enough to eat them.)
Mel
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
"Dating Really is a Crap Shoot"
Thanks to Michelle for this contribution..
Not sure if this article is legit or not, but it's funny none the less, especially with all the cliches and puns. What normal person hasn't refrained from "shooting a bunny" in the presence of a possible suitor? But crapping your pants on a first date...? I would be mortified!! Word to the wise folks, skip the ethnic food until you're comfortable with each other's bowel movements.
Useless Trivia from the mind of Mel
Did you know Sigmund Freud has a theory on babies shitting themselves for pleasure? And no, I'm not making that up either. Read up on Freud's Psycho Sexual Development here (see anal stage.)
Freud's Psycho Sexual Development
Side Note: Education stuff on my page for once, who would have "thunk it". haha
Maybe it's possible that this lady was trying to calm her first date jitters. I mean, I usually stick to a straight shot of Grey Goose Vodka before I leave the house, but hey, different strokes for different folks I suppose. :)
Now, back to the point of this posting..as I am kill time at work, since it's kinda slow today.
Here's the actual Craiglist Ad. - (Click on Image to Enlarge)
Love your life and "Cajun Tots" (especially on a first date)-
Mel xo
Not sure if this article is legit or not, but it's funny none the less, especially with all the cliches and puns. What normal person hasn't refrained from "shooting a bunny" in the presence of a possible suitor? But crapping your pants on a first date...? I would be mortified!! Word to the wise folks, skip the ethnic food until you're comfortable with each other's bowel movements.
Useless Trivia from the mind of Mel
Did you know Sigmund Freud has a theory on babies shitting themselves for pleasure? And no, I'm not making that up either. Read up on Freud's Psycho Sexual Development here (see anal stage.)
Side Note: Education stuff on my page for once, who would have "thunk it". haha
Maybe it's possible that this lady was trying to calm her first date jitters. I mean, I usually stick to a straight shot of Grey Goose Vodka before I leave the house, but hey, different strokes for different folks I suppose. :)
Now, back to the point of this posting..as I am kill time at work, since it's kinda slow today.
Here's the actual Craiglist Ad. - (Click on Image to Enlarge)
Love your life and "Cajun Tots" (especially on a first date)-
Mel xo
"I'll Give An Honest Effort.."
This is a fantastic article that I just had to share with my loyal readers if I do infact have any left.
Here's the link:
Failed 72 Times
So this Soupolos character discovers he's sterile,but desperately wants kids. Obviously the most logical thing to do would be to scout the neighborhood for someone to start regularily banging your wife. Isn't that what most people would do? I can picture a conversation going something like this, well actually this is the scenario that just popped into my head.
:::knock, knock, knock:::
Soupolos: "Hi, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind have unprotected sex with my wife for a period of 6 months, or until she's pregnant."
Neighbor: "Ah, no buddy. Gonna pass on that,but I hear the guy at 3508 might be game for that, 'specially since wife really isn't anything to write home about."
I mean honestly, how exactly would you bring up that conversation with someone. Perhaps over a hand of Texas Holdem, or a 12 pack of Budlight. Truthfully, I can't really think of a time and/or place where that conversation would not be 368% just plain awkward.
What's even better is the twist that the article took when good ol' Maus turns up sterile as well and he finds out that Mrs. Maus has been screwin' around with the mail man (or perhaps the guy at 3508 who has the jacked up wife.) Priceless.
The best excerpt from this article has to be this one.."three evenings a week for six months, Maus tried desperately, a total of 72 times, to impregnate Traute."
Germany Adulteration Awesomeness at it's finest. Can't help but love it.
Love Your Life (and obviously your neighbor.)
Mel
Here's the link:
So this Soupolos character discovers he's sterile,but desperately wants kids. Obviously the most logical thing to do would be to scout the neighborhood for someone to start regularily banging your wife. Isn't that what most people would do? I can picture a conversation going something like this, well actually this is the scenario that just popped into my head.
:::knock, knock, knock:::
Soupolos: "Hi, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind have unprotected sex with my wife for a period of 6 months, or until she's pregnant."
Neighbor: "Ah, no buddy. Gonna pass on that,but I hear the guy at 3508 might be game for that, 'specially since wife really isn't anything to write home about."
I mean honestly, how exactly would you bring up that conversation with someone. Perhaps over a hand of Texas Holdem, or a 12 pack of Budlight. Truthfully, I can't really think of a time and/or place where that conversation would not be 368% just plain awkward.
What's even better is the twist that the article took when good ol' Maus turns up sterile as well and he finds out that Mrs. Maus has been screwin' around with the mail man (or perhaps the guy at 3508 who has the jacked up wife.) Priceless.
The best excerpt from this article has to be this one.."three evenings a week for six months, Maus tried desperately, a total of 72 times, to impregnate Traute."
Germany Adulteration Awesomeness at it's finest. Can't help but love it.
Love Your Life (and obviously your neighbor.)
Mel
Friday, March 27, 2009
I Don't Know What's Worse...
Here's the link:
Please Help My Son Get Laid
Naming your son Otto, or trying to pimp out your Down's Syndrome son to get laid. WTF?! What kind of a mother does such a thing? It's just wrong on so many levels. SO MANY LEVELS! "She says she is even prepared to go so far as to pay for a prostitute for her adopted son."
My commentary: This is what happens when you allow trailer trash to procreate. They bear children with disabilities and then fathom hiring a prostitute to get them laid. I think the worst part is that she's trying to earn her 5 minutes of fame with this charade. That's bad parenting 101 if I ever saw it. Perhaps the agency should re-consider allowing "Miss Baxter" to adopt anymore kids in an effort to earn frequent flyers miles at the neighborhood brothel.
Ah.. that felt good to get out a rant. It's been so long since I've blogged. Hilary...Cowboy Curtis, this one is for you. Much love to you guys.
Love your life and pimp your downs son-(and yes, I know that I'm going to hell for that comment.)
Mel
Naming your son Otto, or trying to pimp out your Down's Syndrome son to get laid. WTF?! What kind of a mother does such a thing? It's just wrong on so many levels. SO MANY LEVELS! "She says she is even prepared to go so far as to pay for a prostitute for her adopted son."
My commentary: This is what happens when you allow trailer trash to procreate. They bear children with disabilities and then fathom hiring a prostitute to get them laid. I think the worst part is that she's trying to earn her 5 minutes of fame with this charade. That's bad parenting 101 if I ever saw it. Perhaps the agency should re-consider allowing "Miss Baxter" to adopt anymore kids in an effort to earn frequent flyers miles at the neighborhood brothel.
Ah.. that felt good to get out a rant. It's been so long since I've blogged. Hilary...Cowboy Curtis, this one is for you. Much love to you guys.
Love your life and pimp your downs son-(and yes, I know that I'm going to hell for that comment.)
Mel
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
"No Means No"
I haven’t blogged in awhile, but someone sent me this new article, and it most definitely merited a short blurb. The best part is the caption under the photograph “No means No!” [says the] Raccoon.
First the article:
Toothy Raccoon Fights Back
And now, my 2 cents....
Now, while I’m quite aware that most males will stick their member in anything that resembles a pleasure filled spot, I’m still a bit perplexed as to why this guy was trying to rape a raccoon. At what point in time would it EVER (!!??) be a good idea to stick your dick into a rabid raccoon? I would pay damn good money to be a fly on the wall of the ER when this guy came in explaining of his dilemma. Or to witness the face of the doctor who had to listen to this moron pleading case for reconstruction.
If you’re stupid enough to try and rape a forest vermin, you just might deserve to have your penis chomped off by said furry friend. In the great words of Napoleon Dynamite, “Friggin Idiot!!”
Love your life (instead of Raccoons)
Mel
First the article:
And now, my 2 cents....
Now, while I’m quite aware that most males will stick their member in anything that resembles a pleasure filled spot, I’m still a bit perplexed as to why this guy was trying to rape a raccoon. At what point in time would it EVER (!!??) be a good idea to stick your dick into a rabid raccoon? I would pay damn good money to be a fly on the wall of the ER when this guy came in explaining of his dilemma. Or to witness the face of the doctor who had to listen to this moron pleading case for reconstruction.
If you’re stupid enough to try and rape a forest vermin, you just might deserve to have your penis chomped off by said furry friend. In the great words of Napoleon Dynamite, “Friggin Idiot!!”
Love your life (instead of Raccoons)
Mel
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Some More Funny Photos
"Snorkeling in Ohio"
"Smiley Ass"
Love your life (and your illustrious display of your ass :)
Mel
"Smiley Ass"
Love your life (and your illustrious display of your ass :)
Mel
A Quick Snippet From EHarmony
In the words of CC...
So what the hell is an acceptable answer?
Love your life (and your dick in women)-
Mel
So what the hell is an acceptable answer?
Love your life (and your dick in women)-
Mel
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Nothing of Importance--Just Babbling
The time is 12:42 pm and I have a few minutes to spare before my lunchtime is over, so I figured that I'd write a little something to pacify my readers since it's been a few weeks.
To recap on the past month would take entirely too long. But in a nutshell, my same repetitive cycle of meeting guys that appear to be nice, only to later turn into giant a-holes has continued to hold true, so no worries on that front. The good news is that I'm finally learning a key lesson from all of these douchebags, and that is this.. they're all nice in the beginning! Everyone presents themselves as sweet and a total gentlemen. Insert a slumber party invitation and a handful of overpriced adult beverages from a local establishment, and you've got a whole different ball game my friends. And in this game, the rules are simple. Guys aren't looking for a relationships, and girls always think that they are the exception to the rule, haha.
Yup, not much has changed this year on the guy front. I did meet one particular asshole a few weeks back that I'd sooner let earn 3rd degree burns than waste a drop of my spit or even urine on him to extinguish any flames. And to him, the king of all assholes, all I can say is that karma's a bitch, and this is a small town. No one gets away with speaking to me like that you little prick. :)
Moving right along. January 1 starts a new chapter and I'm hoping for a year of changes, here are more proposed resolutions for the new year.
1) No more using credit cards
2) Starting off the year with my infamous 30 day plan-
3) No going out DT for one month
4) Gym, gym, gym.. and and a little gym on the side.
5) House cleaning my cell phone of loser boys phone #'s.--Lord knows I have enough.
That's a big list, and I'm not sure how well it will stick, but hey' it's worth a shot. Gotta jet to get back to work.
Love your life-
Mel
To recap on the past month would take entirely too long. But in a nutshell, my same repetitive cycle of meeting guys that appear to be nice, only to later turn into giant a-holes has continued to hold true, so no worries on that front. The good news is that I'm finally learning a key lesson from all of these douchebags, and that is this.. they're all nice in the beginning! Everyone presents themselves as sweet and a total gentlemen. Insert a slumber party invitation and a handful of overpriced adult beverages from a local establishment, and you've got a whole different ball game my friends. And in this game, the rules are simple. Guys aren't looking for a relationships, and girls always think that they are the exception to the rule, haha.
Yup, not much has changed this year on the guy front. I did meet one particular asshole a few weeks back that I'd sooner let earn 3rd degree burns than waste a drop of my spit or even urine on him to extinguish any flames. And to him, the king of all assholes, all I can say is that karma's a bitch, and this is a small town. No one gets away with speaking to me like that you little prick. :)
Moving right along. January 1 starts a new chapter and I'm hoping for a year of changes, here are more proposed resolutions for the new year.
1) No more using credit cards
2) Starting off the year with my infamous 30 day plan-
3) No going out DT for one month
4) Gym, gym, gym.. and and a little gym on the side.
5) House cleaning my cell phone of loser boys phone #'s.--Lord knows I have enough.
That's a big list, and I'm not sure how well it will stick, but hey' it's worth a shot. Gotta jet to get back to work.
Love your life-
Mel
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Sad, but Accurate.
Thanks George W. Bush. Who would have EVER thought GM, Ford & Chrysler would need a bailout.
Kiss of Deaf (Yes I stole that title)
I'm not exactly sure what kind of over-the-top passionate smoochero these two were embracing in, but homegirl's lost part of her hearing as a result.
Check out the article:
Kiss of Deaf
Guess that'll make you think twice about making out with someone again soon with this new found risk. Who am I kidding. I'm not skeerred. (Yes, I realize that I crossed over into being slightly ghetto with that last verbiage, but it was funny. Deal with it.)
My favorite quote from the article..
'While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution.'
And accordingly, Cowboy Curtis adds his two cents, "Dude, you're doing it wrong."
Love your life & proceed with caution when making out.
Mel
Check out the article:
Kiss of Deaf
Guess that'll make you think twice about making out with someone again soon with this new found risk. Who am I kidding. I'm not skeerred. (Yes, I realize that I crossed over into being slightly ghetto with that last verbiage, but it was funny. Deal with it.)
My favorite quote from the article..
'While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution.'
And accordingly, Cowboy Curtis adds his two cents, "Dude, you're doing it wrong."
Love your life & proceed with caution when making out.
Mel
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
As if my dating life wasn't competitive enough as it is
Some a-hole from Ontario Canada has decided to up and make a robotic girlfriend. This is going to do NOTHING for my dating life.
Check out the link:
Meet Aiko-The Robotic Girlfriend
So not only do I have to compete with all the size 2 blonde bimbos of the world who have a combined IQ of my left shoe. Now some yahoo goes and makes a psuedo girlfriend named Aiko who can suffice in just about every category of the perfect woman, and she can be turned off. (And I'm not speaking in the sexual sense here.)
Fan-spankin-tastic. What more can I say?
And a few words from my favoritely jaded contributor:
"....if they get the making sandwiches and not talking during sports part down, a lot of women are going to find themselves single."
You know, I kind of have to agree with CC on this one. :::sigh:::
Love your life & hate the robo girlfriends!
Mel
Check out the link:
So not only do I have to compete with all the size 2 blonde bimbos of the world who have a combined IQ of my left shoe. Now some yahoo goes and makes a psuedo girlfriend named Aiko who can suffice in just about every category of the perfect woman, and she can be turned off. (And I'm not speaking in the sexual sense here.)
Fan-spankin-tastic. What more can I say?
And a few words from my favoritely jaded contributor:
"....if they get the making sandwiches and not talking during sports part down, a lot of women are going to find themselves single."
You know, I kind of have to agree with CC on this one. :::sigh:::
Love your life & hate the robo girlfriends!
Mel
I Honestly Don't Blame The Guy!
Another CC find. Here's the link:
"Not Tonight Honey"
I'll keep these brief tonight cause I have several things to post, but all I can really say is that after seeing this woman's mugshot, I really honestly can't blame the guy for not wanting to have sex with this beast! Yikes. She's quite a gem. Sidenote, what's a 35 year old man doing with a 19 year girl in the first place? Isn't that only acceptable if the girl is like super over-the-top smokin hot? Perhaps he hasn't read up on the fine print of being able to pull off dating someone virtually half his age.
Oh, one more thing... here's a bonus link. I found the guys mug shot. He's equally as much of a looker. Ladies, control yourselves.
Mr. Hot Stuff
Love you life & Stab your boyfriend if he won't have sex with you.
Mel
I'll keep these brief tonight cause I have several things to post, but all I can really say is that after seeing this woman's mugshot, I really honestly can't blame the guy for not wanting to have sex with this beast! Yikes. She's quite a gem. Sidenote, what's a 35 year old man doing with a 19 year girl in the first place? Isn't that only acceptable if the girl is like super over-the-top smokin hot? Perhaps he hasn't read up on the fine print of being able to pull off dating someone virtually half his age.
Oh, one more thing... here's a bonus link. I found the guys mug shot. He's equally as much of a looker. Ladies, control yourselves.
Love you life & Stab your boyfriend if he won't have sex with you.
Mel
Quickie--No pun intended. Okay, maybe a little bit.
Does this really even need a caption or comment? I think not. Technology is a beautiful thing, unless you're this girl. Check out the photo.
Semantics question: Did she mean this was her first time, and that it was on the beach (eg, Wedding Crashers)? Or, that this was her first time on the beach, an aspirational mountain few of us have yet to conquer?
Kudos to the Cowboy for diggin' up this one. Nicely done.
Semantics question: Did she mean this was her first time, and that it was on the beach (eg, Wedding Crashers)? Or, that this was her first time on the beach, an aspirational mountain few of us have yet to conquer?
Kudos to the Cowboy for diggin' up this one. Nicely done.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
One thing I hate about me
Today is going to be a self realization posting, mainly just for me to vent, about being frustrated with no one other than myself! I would just like to say that I hate one thing about myself. Well, there are a couple of cosmetics things that sometimes irk me, but those are all easily corrected with some due dilligence at the gym. The bigger issue at hand is something that eats me up inside, and I don't know how to fix it.
I think that I have not had a boyfriend for so insanely long (going on 9ish years) that if/when I do meet anyone that has potential I always tend to get ahead of myself. I know that at the end of the day, I think I long for that one thing that I haven't had in so very long (relationship stablity.) I want to be able to lay in bed with someone and cuddle. I want to have someone to call me for no other reason than to tell me that they are thinking about me. I want to be able to share my days with someone. My hopes, fears & accomplishments too! I want to know that there is someone out there thinking about me and smiling. And yes, I realize that by writing this post, I have officially admitted to the entire world wide web and any of my loyal readers that I suppose I am looking for a relationship. But, does that make me a bad person? Probably not. Does it mean that I need to change some things about myself, absolutely. But how do I do that? Well, that's another story. I have not a single idea on how to do that.
I'm frustrated with myself. I hate it. I wish that I could change it. I don't even look for/pursue guys anymore b/c I know how my self destructive cycles kicks in. And in the process I get ahead of myself with a few nice gestures from the opposite sex, and before you know it, I've set myself up which inadvertently just leads to me once again being dissapointed. It's the reason that I am so hesistant to tell people about guys that I'm talking to. It's the reason why I never have girl talk with my mother. It's the reason why I prefer to be a big flirt. And it's why I go after assholes, b/c I know eventually they'll turn into a douchebag and the problem will be solved. And in the instance I do meet a nice guy, I don't know what to do with myself, and the cycle begins. I'm just not good at dating/relationships.
Well, this post accomplished absolutely nothing. I think I'm worse off because of it. :::sigh:::
I think that I have not had a boyfriend for so insanely long (going on 9ish years) that if/when I do meet anyone that has potential I always tend to get ahead of myself. I know that at the end of the day, I think I long for that one thing that I haven't had in so very long (relationship stablity.) I want to be able to lay in bed with someone and cuddle. I want to have someone to call me for no other reason than to tell me that they are thinking about me. I want to be able to share my days with someone. My hopes, fears & accomplishments too! I want to know that there is someone out there thinking about me and smiling. And yes, I realize that by writing this post, I have officially admitted to the entire world wide web and any of my loyal readers that I suppose I am looking for a relationship. But, does that make me a bad person? Probably not. Does it mean that I need to change some things about myself, absolutely. But how do I do that? Well, that's another story. I have not a single idea on how to do that.
I'm frustrated with myself. I hate it. I wish that I could change it. I don't even look for/pursue guys anymore b/c I know how my self destructive cycles kicks in. And in the process I get ahead of myself with a few nice gestures from the opposite sex, and before you know it, I've set myself up which inadvertently just leads to me once again being dissapointed. It's the reason that I am so hesistant to tell people about guys that I'm talking to. It's the reason why I never have girl talk with my mother. It's the reason why I prefer to be a big flirt. And it's why I go after assholes, b/c I know eventually they'll turn into a douchebag and the problem will be solved. And in the instance I do meet a nice guy, I don't know what to do with myself, and the cycle begins. I'm just not good at dating/relationships.
Well, this post accomplished absolutely nothing. I think I'm worse off because of it. :::sigh:::
Sunday, November 30, 2008
This one is worth a repost
I was just scrolling back thru old blogs since I'm once again sick thanks to half of my family being sick over the past two weeks. (Thanks lovely Fam!!) I came across this posting which meritted a little boost back up to the top of the page. I recently learned that this guy did pass away from his cancer, but this video is enough to make everyone rethink the way they live their lives.
Enjoy !
Love your life--even when you're sick with a cold again!
Mel
Enjoy !
Love your life--even when you're sick with a cold again!
Mel
Just to Make It An Even Three
Over the past several days, I've been experiencing some dejavu from this time last year. If you thumb thru to last years posts around this same time, you may be able to dig up what I'm speaking of. I can't really divulge too much information, b/c that typically jinxes me, (if even I even spelled that word correctly.) I can however say that running into people that you havn't seen in years usually goes one of two ways; horribly awkward, or the polar opposite. Obviously I prefer the later of the two :) And that is indeed what happened to me this Thanksgiving weekend.
Speaking in an anonymous tone, seeing people from your past that you used to have big crushes on is always fun. It's even better when you learn that they used to have a big crush on you as well--and that neither one of you knew about the other's. It's reunionzation at it's finest so far as I am concerned. And the best part about the entire situation is when you realize that although you havn't seen each other in over a decade, it certainly doesn't feel like it. Everything happens for a reason in this world :) And I am a firm believer in just that! I'm really not sure in which directly this might head since it is so new, but I will say that it is most definately a breath of fresh air to see that there are still some nice guys left in this city of A-holes!! Okay, I'm off to finish some psychology homework now.
Love your crazy, unexpected, yet so rewarding life-
Meli
Speaking in an anonymous tone, seeing people from your past that you used to have big crushes on is always fun. It's even better when you learn that they used to have a big crush on you as well--and that neither one of you knew about the other's. It's reunionzation at it's finest so far as I am concerned. And the best part about the entire situation is when you realize that although you havn't seen each other in over a decade, it certainly doesn't feel like it. Everything happens for a reason in this world :) And I am a firm believer in just that! I'm really not sure in which directly this might head since it is so new, but I will say that it is most definately a breath of fresh air to see that there are still some nice guys left in this city of A-holes!! Okay, I'm off to finish some psychology homework now.
Love your crazy, unexpected, yet so rewarding life-
Meli
Needle Size Art
There isn't a whole lot that I need to say about this guy, other than the fact that he is a superbly talented individual! And his reasons for creating this collection of artwork holds an even greater story! Watch this video and see what I mean!
Microscopic Art
Love your life-
Mel
Love your life-
Mel
The Simplest Things in Life are Sometimes the Most Rewarding
It's been a few days since my last post, but with the long holiday weekend and friends in town, I havn't had a lot of time to pound away on my trusty little laptop. But I still think that I get a gold star of sorts for posting on a much more consistent basis as of late. The norm for my blog usually consists of dating woes, news articles or sillyness of life. But today I'm going to switch it up a bit.
It's no secret to most that I spent a rediculous amount of time in the kitchen whipping up a gigantic feast for 15 guests once again this year. This year it was actually a 2 day process! It's a shit ton of work, but it's what I live for. Each year I improve on the prior, and each year we add a few more people, and a bit more chaos. My family may be a mish-mosh or crazyness and love, but they mean the world to me, and I realize that more and more each day. Guess that's what growing up is all about :) This year we had a new addition my adorable little peanut of a nephew John who has just started to walk at only 8 months. I'm such a proud Aunty Sissa!! I also got to see my aunt that I havn't seen in years, so that was a nice to catch up with her. Additionally, we started a new tradition, which is really where I was going with the blog in the first place.
Ricky is learning about giving in school, so I figured it would be great to help him accomplish just that. Since we had a feast for a small army, I decided that we needed to share some leftovers with less fortunate people. So, we piled a plate full of food (no kidding it probaly weighed atleast a pound) and headed down to Lake Eola with my brother as our body guard. We found a man and his wife sitting alone and hungry on Thanksgiving Eve and gave them the platter of food. We also provided them with drinks, napkins, silverware, and all the leftover munchies we had from the day. Ricky told the couple "Happy Thanksgiving" and at that moment, I got the chills, and yes, even got a bit teary eyed. It was so simple, but it meant so much to them(and to me as well!!) I am so blessed to have a roof over my head and family\friends to fill it with. Thanksgiving is all about that! Being thankful for what you have. And rest assured, this is a tradition that will stay in place for years to come!
Love your life-
Mel
It's no secret to most that I spent a rediculous amount of time in the kitchen whipping up a gigantic feast for 15 guests once again this year. This year it was actually a 2 day process! It's a shit ton of work, but it's what I live for. Each year I improve on the prior, and each year we add a few more people, and a bit more chaos. My family may be a mish-mosh or crazyness and love, but they mean the world to me, and I realize that more and more each day. Guess that's what growing up is all about :) This year we had a new addition my adorable little peanut of a nephew John who has just started to walk at only 8 months. I'm such a proud Aunty Sissa!! I also got to see my aunt that I havn't seen in years, so that was a nice to catch up with her. Additionally, we started a new tradition, which is really where I was going with the blog in the first place.
Ricky is learning about giving in school, so I figured it would be great to help him accomplish just that. Since we had a feast for a small army, I decided that we needed to share some leftovers with less fortunate people. So, we piled a plate full of food (no kidding it probaly weighed atleast a pound) and headed down to Lake Eola with my brother as our body guard. We found a man and his wife sitting alone and hungry on Thanksgiving Eve and gave them the platter of food. We also provided them with drinks, napkins, silverware, and all the leftover munchies we had from the day. Ricky told the couple "Happy Thanksgiving" and at that moment, I got the chills, and yes, even got a bit teary eyed. It was so simple, but it meant so much to them(and to me as well!!) I am so blessed to have a roof over my head and family\friends to fill it with. Thanksgiving is all about that! Being thankful for what you have. And rest assured, this is a tradition that will stay in place for years to come!
Love your life-
Mel
Monday, November 24, 2008
Manic Monday
Good evening all-
I'm taking a break from testing my software at home, b/c obviously that seems like the most entertaining thing I could be doing right now... but I figured I'd paruse my email for a moment or two. Make sure to check out the new link on the right side of my page under "Other Ways to Entertain Yourself"... the new addition is Hot Chicks w/ Douchbags, and let's just say it's awesome!
Secondly, in light of my frustrations with work over the past couple of days incase you could not tell.. I'd like to give a definition to what my job situation is life:
Micromanagement: (according to wikipedia)
In business management, micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of his or her subordinates or employees. Micromanagement is generally used as a negative term.
Geeze, it's weird that I am so flustered, I have 15 different bosses to answer to, and they all tell me something different. I'm so f-ing frustrated right now that I could stab myself in the eye with a spork. Honestly, I'm just not sure I'm cut out for this line of work. There, I said it. :::sigh:::
I need a more upbeat posting, so I'll conclude this one and surf the web for something that might make you laugh!
Love your life-(and hate your job--oh wait, that's me!)
Mel
I'm taking a break from testing my software at home, b/c obviously that seems like the most entertaining thing I could be doing right now... but I figured I'd paruse my email for a moment or two. Make sure to check out the new link on the right side of my page under "Other Ways to Entertain Yourself"... the new addition is Hot Chicks w/ Douchbags, and let's just say it's awesome!
Secondly, in light of my frustrations with work over the past couple of days incase you could not tell.. I'd like to give a definition to what my job situation is life:
Micromanagement: (according to wikipedia)
In business management, micromanagement is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of his or her subordinates or employees. Micromanagement is generally used as a negative term.
Geeze, it's weird that I am so flustered, I have 15 different bosses to answer to, and they all tell me something different. I'm so f-ing frustrated right now that I could stab myself in the eye with a spork. Honestly, I'm just not sure I'm cut out for this line of work. There, I said it. :::sigh:::
I need a more upbeat posting, so I'll conclude this one and surf the web for something that might make you laugh!
Love your life-(and hate your job--oh wait, that's me!)
Mel
Friday, November 21, 2008
Dear, Single Young Males of the World
While my usual rants typically relate to some off the wall nut job who has gotten some foreign object stuck in an orafice, or eaten themselves to gluttony, every now and then I speak on a serious matter. Well, tonight as I listen to some Pandora, clear my brain from a very LONG and stressful day at work, and sip on my vino, I parused my email and came across an article that was sent to me by my most dedicated contributor.
The article was written by a woman named Kay Hymowitz. In her piece, she writes about why so many 20-something year old men refuse to grow up, and/or settle down, and the article kind of pissed me off, after only the first couple of paragraphs. So much in fact that it almost makes me want to write a letter to the world addressing all of these idiots. Wonder how much that would cost in postage ?
Here's a link the entire article if you want to check it out, but I wanted to share one of the most poignant lines with you guys incase you didn't want to take the time to paruse the entire thing like I just did on a rather unproductive Friday night. Alas, rest assured my friends, I'm going to be showering in a bit to head out in search of some playtime with the opposite sex downtown this evening. Hokay, sidetracked already (damn wine)..here is the link:
Love in the Time of Darwinism
One paragraph that initially stuck out at me was this one:
Their argument, in effect, was that the SYM (Single Young Male) is putting off traditional markers of adulthood—one wife, two kids, three bathrooms—not because they're immature but because they're angry. They're angry because they thinks that young women are dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging.
My first reaction was WOW! Well..to this I could obviously go off on some crazy psycho girl rampage with a hatrid filled rebuttle, but I'll contain myself. Instead, I'll be much more poised with my two cents on that matter. Sometimes I have to remind myself of it, but I am indeed..still a lady :)
In light of some of my past behaviors in the last year, I can not, nor will I deny that I have not exhibited most (but not all) of these behaviors in the past 12 months--give or take. But (and that is a BIG but) it wasn't without just cause.
See the truth is this, 'we woman' have been driven to these standards as pseudo defense mechanism if you will. We are dishonest, because men are equally as dishonest. If they can get away with it, then we should be able to as well! We are self involved because men are equally as bad. We are slutty for two reasons a) as my friend Angela says "a girl's gotta eat." and fairvilla doesn't always cut it and b)I don't see a need to waste my feelings and inner workings on men that are not willing to express the same feelings in return. Or in some instances, not deserving! We are manipulative...well.. I really don't have a rebuttle to that one. :::insert foot into mouth::: Moving right along. Shallow, hmm.. I don't consider myself to be shallow, so I'll skip ahead. Controlling, yes. I'll take that one. I am controlling b/c I don't like to be hurt. I'm usually "the giver" and that always leads to me becoming a 'doormat' of sorts. I control my destiny with men, b/c the majority of them are just plain jerks! I look at it like this. When someone is willing to dig deep enough to get to know me as a person before they want to sleep with me, then in just time, I'll open up. Until then, I'll remain in control of my own destiny. And, unfortunately sometimes that involves controlling men. As for the last one, well I live in Orlando. The city filled with a very large population of narcasistic silicone injected women. However, I am most definately NOT a gold digger. But I could see where this accusation would fit the mold for most 20 something year old females. Heck, I am so much NOT a gold-digger that when I went out on my date last week, I even paid for my own wine at the wine room, and the guy had asked ME out, so there! Granted, I should have let him pay, but it was a self righteous moment, and so I used my own card for the evening.
It is now 9:15 and while I was initially thinking that I was NOT going to go off on a tangemt, and it inadvertently looks like that is exactly what I just did. Oh well. I'm off to shower and get ready for some shenaigans. Read the rest of the article, it's quite enlightening.
Love you life and live for yourself-
Mel
The article was written by a woman named Kay Hymowitz. In her piece, she writes about why so many 20-something year old men refuse to grow up, and/or settle down, and the article kind of pissed me off, after only the first couple of paragraphs. So much in fact that it almost makes me want to write a letter to the world addressing all of these idiots. Wonder how much that would cost in postage ?
Here's a link the entire article if you want to check it out, but I wanted to share one of the most poignant lines with you guys incase you didn't want to take the time to paruse the entire thing like I just did on a rather unproductive Friday night. Alas, rest assured my friends, I'm going to be showering in a bit to head out in search of some playtime with the opposite sex downtown this evening. Hokay, sidetracked already (damn wine)..here is the link:
One paragraph that initially stuck out at me was this one:
Their argument, in effect, was that the SYM (Single Young Male) is putting off traditional markers of adulthood—one wife, two kids, three bathrooms—not because they're immature but because they're angry. They're angry because they thinks that young women are dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging.
My first reaction was WOW! Well..to this I could obviously go off on some crazy psycho girl rampage with a hatrid filled rebuttle, but I'll contain myself. Instead, I'll be much more poised with my two cents on that matter. Sometimes I have to remind myself of it, but I am indeed..still a lady :)
In light of some of my past behaviors in the last year, I can not, nor will I deny that I have not exhibited most (but not all) of these behaviors in the past 12 months--give or take. But (and that is a BIG but) it wasn't without just cause.
See the truth is this, 'we woman' have been driven to these standards as pseudo defense mechanism if you will. We are dishonest, because men are equally as dishonest. If they can get away with it, then we should be able to as well! We are self involved because men are equally as bad. We are slutty for two reasons a) as my friend Angela says "a girl's gotta eat." and fairvilla doesn't always cut it and b)I don't see a need to waste my feelings and inner workings on men that are not willing to express the same feelings in return. Or in some instances, not deserving! We are manipulative...well.. I really don't have a rebuttle to that one. :::insert foot into mouth::: Moving right along. Shallow, hmm.. I don't consider myself to be shallow, so I'll skip ahead. Controlling, yes. I'll take that one. I am controlling b/c I don't like to be hurt. I'm usually "the giver" and that always leads to me becoming a 'doormat' of sorts. I control my destiny with men, b/c the majority of them are just plain jerks! I look at it like this. When someone is willing to dig deep enough to get to know me as a person before they want to sleep with me, then in just time, I'll open up. Until then, I'll remain in control of my own destiny. And, unfortunately sometimes that involves controlling men. As for the last one, well I live in Orlando. The city filled with a very large population of narcasistic silicone injected women. However, I am most definately NOT a gold digger. But I could see where this accusation would fit the mold for most 20 something year old females. Heck, I am so much NOT a gold-digger that when I went out on my date last week, I even paid for my own wine at the wine room, and the guy had asked ME out, so there! Granted, I should have let him pay, but it was a self righteous moment, and so I used my own card for the evening.
It is now 9:15 and while I was initially thinking that I was NOT going to go off on a tangemt, and it inadvertently looks like that is exactly what I just did. Oh well. I'm off to shower and get ready for some shenaigans. Read the rest of the article, it's quite enlightening.
Love you life and live for yourself-
Mel
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tuesday: November 18th
Well, first off, I must say to my loyal readers, I believe that I have been diligent in posting on the Nutshell on a consistent basis for the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to carve out atleast 30 minutes throughout my already rediculously busy schedule to unleash my mind on you all for a brief paragraph or two. Wait, does this mean, that I might actually be able to commit to something? I mean afterall it took me over a month to get thru a 2 week kit of Crest White Strips. Which by the way, check out my teeth next time you see me, and please compliment me even if they don't look a shade brighter, just so that I don't feel like I got hosed on the $40 I spent on them.
Couple of things that I'd like to dish to you all about so, without further ado, here goes.
1) I have FINALLY figured out the wretched humming noise :::insert hallalejuah music here:::!! Tonight when I was driving home from my jog at Lake Eola I had an epiphany once I realized they were yet again doing construction on Mills which is only a street away from me. Side Note: Has anyone else noticed that pretty much the entire city of Orlando is under construction at this point, truthfully I'm kinda over it, just finish already, yeesh! Anyways, back to the noise. So the lovely road worker crews are tearing up various sections of Mills for god knows what reason, and as I drive past them I hear the humming noise. They are doing something underground with all kinda of obesely large machines and crap, and the noise is coming from inside the hole. I'm sure this realization is pretty mindless and petty to everyone but myself, but atleast I finally know what has been keeping me awake for random nights on end. So, to the City Beautiful workers dilligently working thru the night, please hurry up and finish already, I need to get some sleep. That's what she said. (Did anyone catch that Michael Scott/Office innuendo that I just plugged at the end of that paragraph?) Hokay, so maybe it wasn't nearly as funny to you all, but I certainly did laugh in my head. Whatever.
2) Now, as for numero dos, it's actually a little video to leave you with so you can have warm and fuzzies whenever you might need to circle back around to my page. Fun fact of today is that an Otter mates for life, it's very cute in fact. When I die and come back as an animal, I'm puttin' my name in the hat to become an otter, I figued after the shit ton of dirtbags I've had the pleasure of meeting/dating..I'm bound to have better luck as a cute little fuzzy otter.--Don'tcha think? Below is the video. Note: It's a little slow to get started, but it's only 1:40 and it will leave you saying, "awe!!"-Guaranteed :)
I'm spent and whooped from 8 hours of work, 2 hours of class, 1 hour at Lake Eola and 2 hours of HW. Man my life is exciting! I'm off to rest my brain for awhile.
Love your life (and f-ing road construction approx. 2,897 feet from your bedroom window)
Mel
Couple of things that I'd like to dish to you all about so, without further ado, here goes.
1) I have FINALLY figured out the wretched humming noise :::insert hallalejuah music here:::!! Tonight when I was driving home from my jog at Lake Eola I had an epiphany once I realized they were yet again doing construction on Mills which is only a street away from me. Side Note: Has anyone else noticed that pretty much the entire city of Orlando is under construction at this point, truthfully I'm kinda over it, just finish already, yeesh! Anyways, back to the noise. So the lovely road worker crews are tearing up various sections of Mills for god knows what reason, and as I drive past them I hear the humming noise. They are doing something underground with all kinda of obesely large machines and crap, and the noise is coming from inside the hole. I'm sure this realization is pretty mindless and petty to everyone but myself, but atleast I finally know what has been keeping me awake for random nights on end. So, to the City Beautiful workers dilligently working thru the night, please hurry up and finish already, I need to get some sleep. That's what she said. (Did anyone catch that Michael Scott/Office innuendo that I just plugged at the end of that paragraph?) Hokay, so maybe it wasn't nearly as funny to you all, but I certainly did laugh in my head. Whatever.
2) Now, as for numero dos, it's actually a little video to leave you with so you can have warm and fuzzies whenever you might need to circle back around to my page. Fun fact of today is that an Otter mates for life, it's very cute in fact. When I die and come back as an animal, I'm puttin' my name in the hat to become an otter, I figued after the shit ton of dirtbags I've had the pleasure of meeting/dating..I'm bound to have better luck as a cute little fuzzy otter.--Don'tcha think? Below is the video. Note: It's a little slow to get started, but it's only 1:40 and it will leave you saying, "awe!!"-Guaranteed :)
I'm spent and whooped from 8 hours of work, 2 hours of class, 1 hour at Lake Eola and 2 hours of HW. Man my life is exciting! I'm off to rest my brain for awhile.
Love your life (and f-ing road construction approx. 2,897 feet from your bedroom window)
Mel
Monday, November 17, 2008
Other Thought Processes of My Brain Today
In no particular order...
After filling my gas tank today at the local Racetrac in Sanford, I must admit that I was more than a little excited by getting gas for only $1.94 a gallon. And thus my word of the day was born:
Gasgasm (pronounced gas-gasum) noun-
1. the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the gas pump filled with excitation, usually resulting from lack of stimulation of the wallet.
2. an instance of experiencing this.
3. intense or unrestrained excitement from getting cheap gas.
4. an instance or occurrence of such excitement after purchasing gas for under $2.00/gallon.
Another random thought process currently in my brain is that the Special K challenge is hardcore. I'm about to gnaw my freaking arm off. By the end of two weeks I might resort to carnivorous behaviors. So, to the neighborhood moms of Shine Ave., keep your kids inside, lol. I've done it before and I can do it again, but man oh man, day one was rough.
Also, I've started to get back into jogging again, which probably isn't the most intelligent decision for a girl with asthma when it's freezing outside. 3 miles around Lake Eola this evening resulted in the following:
-Ears that were so cold I feared they might fall off b/c I could barely feel them.
-Stopping about every 2-3 minutes to catch my breath b/c I was caughing and congested from the cold weather on my lungs.
-Seeing some decent eye candy amazingly still jogging around Eola shirtless, so it made it all worth it :)
Okay, I'm off to do some homework.
Until tomorrow...
Mel
After filling my gas tank today at the local Racetrac in Sanford, I must admit that I was more than a little excited by getting gas for only $1.94 a gallon. And thus my word of the day was born:
Gasgasm (pronounced gas-gasum) noun-
1. the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the gas pump filled with excitation, usually resulting from lack of stimulation of the wallet.
2. an instance of experiencing this.
3. intense or unrestrained excitement from getting cheap gas.
4. an instance or occurrence of such excitement after purchasing gas for under $2.00/gallon.
Another random thought process currently in my brain is that the Special K challenge is hardcore. I'm about to gnaw my freaking arm off. By the end of two weeks I might resort to carnivorous behaviors. So, to the neighborhood moms of Shine Ave., keep your kids inside, lol. I've done it before and I can do it again, but man oh man, day one was rough.
Also, I've started to get back into jogging again, which probably isn't the most intelligent decision for a girl with asthma when it's freezing outside. 3 miles around Lake Eola this evening resulted in the following:
-Ears that were so cold I feared they might fall off b/c I could barely feel them.
-Stopping about every 2-3 minutes to catch my breath b/c I was caughing and congested from the cold weather on my lungs.
-Seeing some decent eye candy amazingly still jogging around Eola shirtless, so it made it all worth it :)
Okay, I'm off to do some homework.
Until tomorrow...
Mel
"Urine Purification System"
Good news! Our super thrify president is putting our tax dollars to good use again. Check out this article...
$250 Million Well Spent??
At first I read this article and thought it to be kind of inept at meriting any sort of posting on The Nutshell, until I read this line...
"The shuttle carries two new sleeping compartments and a water recycling system that will enable the crew to purify urine and other wastewater for drinking." What infuriated me even more is that as I continued to read I learned that the space shuttle only has 10 voyages left, which will conclude in the year 2010.
So, let me see if I am understanding you correctly Mr. President. Our economy is in the absolute shitter, millions of people are homeless and jobless, and you somehow justified blowing $250 million on a tricked out space shuttle's bathroom when we are going to retire the space shuttle program altogether in the next two years--??!! How is that a good use of tax dollars?? You mean to tell me that the astronauts could not make due with the way that drinking water situation has been handled since the early 1980's? Do we have a bunch of pre-madonna's aboard the shuttle these days or what? Yeesh! I usually try to write funny blogs, but this one just sort if pissed in my cornflakes and I had to vent. Oh "W" how I love thee.
LYL-(and hate the President)
Mel
At first I read this article and thought it to be kind of inept at meriting any sort of posting on The Nutshell, until I read this line...
"The shuttle carries two new sleeping compartments and a water recycling system that will enable the crew to purify urine and other wastewater for drinking." What infuriated me even more is that as I continued to read I learned that the space shuttle only has 10 voyages left, which will conclude in the year 2010.
So, let me see if I am understanding you correctly Mr. President. Our economy is in the absolute shitter, millions of people are homeless and jobless, and you somehow justified blowing $250 million on a tricked out space shuttle's bathroom when we are going to retire the space shuttle program altogether in the next two years--??!! How is that a good use of tax dollars?? You mean to tell me that the astronauts could not make due with the way that drinking water situation has been handled since the early 1980's? Do we have a bunch of pre-madonna's aboard the shuttle these days or what? Yeesh! I usually try to write funny blogs, but this one just sort if pissed in my cornflakes and I had to vent. Oh "W" how I love thee.
LYL-(and hate the President)
Mel
Sunday, November 16, 2008
"Potato stuck up his bottom....fell on to the vegetable while naked."
This article is a-mazing, you have to read it. Here's the link:
Potato Bottom Guy
Well I have to sympathize with the gentlemen for actually having to the go the hospital and admit to the nurses and/or doctors that he did in fact did have the makings of some french fries stuck up his pie hole. That my friend would hands down be the most embarassing moment to experience. Now, what I don't get is the elaborate story he made up to try and cover it up. "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato." Now, if this was the infamously well known card game, I would hae whipped my entire hand down on the table with an overzealous proclamation of Bulllllshit!!
Obviously the guy is the "catcher", and he was apparently too embarassed to admit how he actually got the potato stuck in his hinee, but I think that most everyone capable of reading this can put two and two together and come up with a few scenarios as to how this might have happened. BTW-My mental image of all possible scenarios is rather alarming, my apologies to any of my readers who may have just experienced the same visual imagery that I was fortunate enough to.
And lastly, my favorite line of this article is the last sentence, "But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."--So discreet in fact that your surgery to have a potato removed from your butthole, (sorry a bit unlady-like, i know, but still funny) has now made its way to the world wide web for everyone to read. And ofcourse for me to poke fun (no pun intended) at this potato booty guy, lol. Oh, and also.. who the hell hangs curtains while they are naked?
Love your life-
Mel
Well I have to sympathize with the gentlemen for actually having to the go the hospital and admit to the nurses and/or doctors that he did in fact did have the makings of some french fries stuck up his pie hole. That my friend would hands down be the most embarassing moment to experience. Now, what I don't get is the elaborate story he made up to try and cover it up. "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato." Now, if this was the infamously well known card game, I would hae whipped my entire hand down on the table with an overzealous proclamation of Bulllllshit!!
Obviously the guy is the "catcher", and he was apparently too embarassed to admit how he actually got the potato stuck in his hinee, but I think that most everyone capable of reading this can put two and two together and come up with a few scenarios as to how this might have happened. BTW-My mental image of all possible scenarios is rather alarming, my apologies to any of my readers who may have just experienced the same visual imagery that I was fortunate enough to.
And lastly, my favorite line of this article is the last sentence, "But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."--So discreet in fact that your surgery to have a potato removed from your butthole, (sorry a bit unlady-like, i know, but still funny) has now made its way to the world wide web for everyone to read. And ofcourse for me to poke fun (no pun intended) at this potato booty guy, lol. Oh, and also.. who the hell hangs curtains while they are naked?
Love your life-
Mel
Just Plain Bizaar
I have a couple of fun articles that my favorite cowboy sent me, so my postings tonight will be brief, but still just as quality filled. P.S. Just so you know, it's a lovely 50ish degrees outside, so my windows are open, and yes I am listening to the sweet sweet melodies of the awful humming noise. I feel like Alfred Hitchcock, this silly noise might drive me mad one day. Hokay, only my first news article.
The first one just kind of baffled me. Here's the link for it:
How does this happen??!!
First of all, what human being in their right mind (short of a vampire) would be kosher with a flippin bat flying around in your house? Second thought, who lives in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Perhaps that's where bat breeders flock to ? Who knows..? Relatively speaking, that's not something you see everyday, and it's certainly not something I would brush off and mozy onto bed without thinking twice. Let me reiterate that, "the woman reported a bat in her house but wasn't too worried about it. She turned on her automatic coffee maker before bedtime and drank her coffee the next morning." So, as she was sipping on some Folgers French Roast the following morning she didn't notice any slight variation in taste? I find that pretty hard to believe. And lastly, I'm really just curious as to how in the hell a bat managed to squeeze thru a 1/4 inch gap in the top of a coffee pot to take us residency in the coffee filter holding area. I dunno, I'm a bit skeptic on this one? I just don't see how it's possible. Anybody else with me on this one? More fun stuff to come.
Love you life xo
Mel
So, the woman
The first one just kind of baffled me. Here's the link for it:
First of all, what human being in their right mind (short of a vampire) would be kosher with a flippin bat flying around in your house? Second thought, who lives in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Perhaps that's where bat breeders flock to ? Who knows..? Relatively speaking, that's not something you see everyday, and it's certainly not something I would brush off and mozy onto bed without thinking twice. Let me reiterate that, "the woman reported a bat in her house but wasn't too worried about it. She turned on her automatic coffee maker before bedtime and drank her coffee the next morning." So, as she was sipping on some Folgers French Roast the following morning she didn't notice any slight variation in taste? I find that pretty hard to believe. And lastly, I'm really just curious as to how in the hell a bat managed to squeeze thru a 1/4 inch gap in the top of a coffee pot to take us residency in the coffee filter holding area. I dunno, I'm a bit skeptic on this one? I just don't see how it's possible. Anybody else with me on this one? More fun stuff to come.
Love you life xo
Mel
So, the woman
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