Personally speaking, I can attest to wearing an uncomfortable bra or two in my lifetime, especially those of the strapless kind. I'm convinced those bad boys were made by a man who was very angry with his wife. No doubt. But either way, my whole point is this: If your bra starts to bother you, you can either take it off, tuck it in your purse and call it a day, or worst case scenario is your shirt isn't conducive to going braless, you put some tape or a paper towel, a band aid, TP, really anything to pad the area that is bothing you. How do you let it go to the point that it leaves a 3 inch long gash that is a 1/4 inch deep on your breast without you noticing it? Don't you think that a cut of that magnitude would produce a substantial amount of bleeding? Furthermore, wouldn't you feel something like that? I dunno, maybe that's just me ..?
And while we're on the topic of this woman suing Victoria's Secret, lets also remember that this 'alleged boob mutilating bra' was also 3 years old. A 3 year life span for a bra is a pretty decent life span so far as I'm concerned. The eulogy at it's funeral would probably go something like this: "The bra had a good life of hugging the breasts of Jessica, they were the best of friends. Often times they went out together downtown, and spent hours on end getting very close to each other."
It's quite a sad fact actually that you pay $40 for something to hold your breasts in place with the hopes that you are going to look like one of those bombshells that graces the cover of those catalogs that kill the average woman's self esteem each week when they arrive in the mail (yet you still continue to shop from them, so they keep coming..) anyways, I'm trailing off on another tangent. What I was trying to say is that you spend a decent amount of money on a bra from there, very well knowing that after you wash it the first time it's never going to look as good as it did when you brought it home. Depending on how often you wear it and wash it, it's only inevitable that one day you'll hear the dryer buzzer sound, and when you walk out to the laundry room you find that the underwire has seperated from the bra. It's the worst feeling ever, b/c now you have a bra, with zero underwire, that is pretty much no longer useful to your Tyra Banks aspirations so long as it is sans the magic wand of cleavage lifting (aka underwire.)
In conclusion I feel that if you keep a bra for that long, it stabs you in the dairy cannon, and you don't realize it until it's such a gigantic lesion that you feel it necessary to sue the makers of the bra... well then you are just an idiot. Congratulations, you are a moron, and you probably deserved it. If you want to sue Victoria's Secret for something...perhaps try suing them for putting together magazines full of perfectly airbrushed woman that make even Nicole Richie a little self conscious. Not because you stabbed yourself talking off their bra!!
You know what I just realized, my last two articles have both been centered around a woman's breasts. That doesn't say much to back my heterosexuality now does it? lol
1 comment:
I'd never heard "dairy cannon" before. Its almost elegant in its crude simplicity.
As a guy, I just don't get the bra stabbing you hubbub. Considering the shoes girls like to wear, I think most of us just assume that women like clothes that torment them.
Still, they needed to provide a picture of her. Without knowing how hot (or un-hot) she is, its really tough to determine just how much of a tragedy this is.
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